Cold light of day time...

What a strange day yesterday was. For the first part I felt on a real downer, then last night felt really good but really weird.
I feel like a bit of a con-man here, I mean I wasn't consciously doing anything, but having read "that book" I'm sure I just say all the right things these days! I think last night I could have pretty much ended up in any situation I wanted to, but of course I didn't. I think the important part of my "relationship training" is the fact I know the reasons why things happen, and why people react and how they react. It's not about using your knowledge to get anywhere, rather it's about understanding more about yourself. The old cliche about being a 'changed man' and all that. I'm not ready for a relationship anyway, so none of it matters at this moment.

One of the reasons I was dumped was because I was so boring and never wanted to do anything. So now I have changed my attitude to that too. I never did anything particularly and always looked for a problem so I could say no to everything. Well now I say "YES!" to everything, which is why, on October the 4th I have to get myself to a clinic in Clifton (not sorted out how just yet!) while my eyes get zapped by means of lasers and all that! Exciting stuff eh? Scary too to be honest, but I really don't care any more.
I can't go through life hiding any more, so from now on everything is a "YES". My plan is that I will cap all of this daring new adventure by getting on a plane. Only to Scotland or something and back on an EasyJet thing, but it will be an important barrier broken through. Once I have perfect eyesight, my driving license, and been on a plane I think I will have made significant ground forward.
It's easy to say you have changed, but you need to prove it to yourself by accomplishing things, so it all has to be done, otherwise only my mind has changed, and it's the actions that need sorting.

I wonder what today will bring? Well, my mum on a train for one thing, I suppose the next couple of days are fairly obvious in that case, but then that's usually when the unexpected happens!