What a week!

Well, where do we start...? We start with a prediction actually - the rest of the story later, but I predict Clare will not come around tonight as she said she wanted to, she will give in to the ridiculous emotional cripple she lives with and make up with him. Ok rant over.
Working in reverse order - Clare came over this morning, well actually very early - I was out with the dog and eventually met up with her on the Strawberry Line - she was in tears. Jon had dumped her! He had grown tired of her and her little ways and agreed with her that they had nothing in common. Then he texted her back in an over-friendly way, and later on that morning he asked her to come back so they could talk! Yes, we can all see where this is going can't we dears? I had arranged to get a DVD and a Chinese to take her mind off it, and she REALLY wanted to do that - as opposed to watch Jon drink a couple of bottles of wine and sit there in silence all night. I reckon she won't come though - she gives in to him so easily - maybe that's why she left me, because I am a real man and have strength, and there's something about a pathetic weak-willed man that appeals to her. God knows. And so her living hell continues...

Jayne came round at the weekend - I think I should leave most of the details out! She was all over me like a rash, and we did stuff I have never experienced before! I lost count at the number of times we had sex, although I think it was 6 in total, and I eventually got to sleep at 4am. Then I woke up to take the dog out and when I got back I was summoned back to bed to carry on! My bits are exhausted! Very strange positions I ended up in too! Rather pleasant though I have to say. It was nice to feel sexy again. To have someone make "phwoar!" noises when you take your shirt off. To be appreciated. To be valued and most of all made to feel attractive. She couldn't fake that bit - well not 6 times anyway! lol. Weird to be doing adventurous stuff without it being my idea - very odd - like Christmas and birthdays rolled into one! The only real down side is the fact she screams like a banshee when she cums! And not only that she shouts all manner of "encouragement" at the same time. I think next door must have thought there was an orgy going on! Maybe there was! There was probably a very stunned queue in the kebab shop as well. lol
Might see her again - she lives in Frome so it's tricky, so driving might be even more of a priority. I think we both gave eachother a lot of self-esteem back again. She had been dumped and deceived too and so we both felt a sense of an ego boost. Don't want sex for ages now - in case my bits fall off!


The week at mum's was OK. Abi's party was great and everyone was so nice to me - oddly they were nice before they knew what had happened, but I guess that's Stoke people - always friendly even if the place is a cack hole!
I had exercised a lot that week and with my boots on I swear I had grown - I was towering over Louise, who I always remembered being quite a lot taller than me. Felt a bit crap being single in amongst so many couples, and cried like a baby for a few minutes when I got into bed that night - probably alcohol adding to it I guess, but it is difficult being alone in some situations.

Mum's birthday went well and all her old friends came around - she was blown away by the fact we had got her a telly. She was channel hopping all night saying "I can't get over how good the picture is!" over and over again.

Feeling like another crossroads is forming in front of me. I am determined to keep steaming ahead, and the passport is on its way next! Promised mum a trip to Dublin for Christmas. Not phoned up about the driving lessons yet - I got sidetracked a bit with all the emails I have ploughed through. Can't believe I had 78 emails when I got back. I supposed it is about 9 per day.
I think I might have to try and meet a load more women. It's exciting to meet new people and I don't need male friends - they are dull and only care about macho crap - much rather talk about spiritual things and nature and all that - although Jayne was chatting for ages about how Harry Redknapp is a rubbish manager, and playing 3 at the back never works?!!? A women who knows about football and shags for Britain?! Anyway...
I feel sad about Clare. I thought she was going to be free (again!) today. But I think she will carry on like this for ages - poor girl hasn't slept for weeks. I put her to bed here for an hour or two this morning and rubbed some creme on her face and eyes. She slept soundly. She'll end up very ill if she stays with Jon any longer. He's not right in the head anyway, but he is so bad for her. They have NOTHING in common - nothing that matters anyway. I can go to Longleat with Gran and have a lovely day, it doesn't mean the fact that I enjoyed it means I want to marry her! He is a drug using, smoking, emotionally repressed, manipulative, weak, impotent (appparently!), debt-ridden, inanimate loser. You only have to look at Clare to see who she is with. Clare is drained, unhappy, going nowhere, directionless, depressed, broke, and thoroughly miserable. It's good to know Jon is taking good care of her....

I guess I am now hanging around for a few hours waiting for a text to say "I'm not coming, we have worked things out".
I know what you are thinking - why are you even bothering? Well yeah - fair comment, except I care about Clare and I can't stand seeing my best friend have her life ruined because of a selfish and manipulative loser. I want Clare to be on her own for a while - to look at herself and her life and have time to sort it out. I don't even want to get back with her. She was saying this morning how I shouldn't have any hope of us being a couple again and I didn't really want to say "That's the last thing I want!" Clare is bad for me - we can't be a couple, not with her as she is. I don't want to be with Clare like that. I'm not even concerned about having a relationship at the moment - I have given so much to the last one, I need to recharge and learn to trust again. I don't like how Clare dismisses the future like it is set in stone - only the past is set in stone, the future is ours to carve out.
All I can do is be there for her, she will make her own mistakes, over and over again. I am worried about Jon. He may well get to the stage of aggression if this control doesn't stop. There's so much he hides from Clare, God knows what he is capable of.

Ah well, rant over - I hope Clare finds her peace and moves on to find someone special to be with. Someone who deserves her and someone who will be honest and true and respect her. This whole thing is so ugly and Clare is starting to disappear as a person. If she doesn't leave him she will die and become a nothing. Just a blank zombie living a life she has to just put up with. God, there is so much more to life - I can tell you from first-hand experience!