It's ok to be sad...

Ok, so I haven't posted much - my eyes have gone wrong - £2590 wasted - ouch! So I got upset and down and angry and bitter - for 12 hours. Now it's gone.
That's the thing with me now - I am so much stronger than I was before - nothing beats me - not even the prospect of failing eyesight and nothing I can do about it till Easter. So throw the next one at me!! Go on I dare ya!! I won't be beaten!
The very next day I went and put Clare's mum and dad's fireplace in for them - like nothing had happened - must really freak people out! I mean last time I saw them I was living with their daughter, and since then she has cheated on me, left me, my eyesight has been wrecked and 24 hours later I come round all chirpy and help them out! Is this really me we are talking about??! YES IT IS!! I love it! I love being me now - life is as good as your attitude to it - of course bad things happen, it's what makes good things happen too. So be sad, cry, be upset, be angry, and then move on - tomorrow is another day!

Weird moment of the week.... I went to Crooks Peak at 3.15pm today - and on the way back I suddenly got this feeling of being watched, but like someone had stood on my grave. I had a really cold shiver go down my spine like there was a dark presence next to me. I was so scared that I didn't breathe and even let the dog wander off almost out of site. I turned my head really slowly to the left and about 6ft away, yes only 6ft, were two HUGE ravens sat together behind the stone wall, both looking at me. I gasped and froze - they were closer to me than the ones at the Tower of London! I could see the little tufts on the tops of their beaks and could even smell them. They were massive! I wasn't aware but I was holding my breathe and eventually exhaled quite loudly and they shot off the ground and soared into the sky and swooped down the hill out of site. Very weird, moving, and spine tingling.
Now here's the weird thing...
I looked up what the significance of two ravens was... and in Norse mythology Odin had two ravens, one called "Memory" and one called "Thought". The significant bit is bearing in mind my right eye has gone wrong and is losing sight. Odin is said to have only had one eye! He sacrificed his sight in one eye in exchange for wisdom! The two ravens were his messengers and brought him information about what was going on in the world.
So have I lost the use of an eye in exchange for wisdom? Memories and thoughts have filled my mind all day, every day for the last two months. I seem to have gained a lot of wisdom too over the last weeks! Who knows - but there was something weird about it!

Since the news of my sight loss I am actually starting to not use my right eye. I have it open but somehow I am telling my brain to only use the left side - feels strange and unbalancing at times but I can get by as long as the left eye doesn't fail too.

Anyway - I AM F**KIN DRIVING! Stop me if you want to try, but I am doing it. If it is too dangerous and I get told I can't then I won't risk hurting anyone else, but until then I am going for it. NOTHING STOPS CHRIS FROM LIVING - not any more sunshine!

Monday tomorrow - will grab the postwoman and raid her bag looking for anything from the DVLA in Swansea! ;)