Prediction...

Ok, this is getting so boring now - Clare left Jon as he has sick perversions and takes drugs and they have very little in common. She cried all the time, they didn't speak and guess what? She's going back to him. Absolutely insane. Problem is it is going to end in tragedy.

She is going to meet him tonight and here is what will happen.

He has spent hours getting ready, as she has too. They will get caught up in the atmosphere of the pub, he will tell her he has been wrong all along and he is sorry. He has destroyed the tapes, he loves her, he will change/give up drugs etc. yadda yadda yadda. She will say she has been too hasty, been in a bad mood la la la... and they will "give it another go".

My spirit guide has warned me about what happens in the end and how I need to be the strongest person on earth when it happens. I'm shitting myself to be honest. Look at the component parts. Clare is unhinged, she swings her moods from one extreme to the other and Jon isn't in control of his mental state either. There are drugs involved and perversions that are truly sick, and it's only heading one way.
I felt better this week as Clare seemed to be putting her life together and moving forward. It is all about to grind to a halt again. She misses Jon, or what she hoped Jon is rather than the reality. She was warned about him time and time again by those who know what he is capable of. Well this time she is going to be hurt, and not just emotionally. I am just so terrified that I cannot help her when it happens.

She will come in tonight all happy and bright having worked it all out, and think she got him all wrong before, forgetting all the truth that really happened and just dwelling on the "days out" that were "really nice". Clutching fog as it is known.
I can see where this is heading and I wonder whether our friendship can survive it. I doubt it to be honest. there will be a choice forced on her one day "him or me" as "he loves her" so why does she need me? She will be off, back into the same routine as before - of course not at first! We are back in "men don't fart for a month" territory, but given time it will, and she will have pushed me out by then. It's not pretty and it's only going to get worse.

I am thinking like a coward right now. I don't want to be here to see it all fall down in the way it will as I don't want to have to deal with the pieces. I suppose if I run away back to Stoke and find out later what happened I will never live with myself and regret not being here to deal with it. I just wish it wasn't going to happen. I guess there's still time to change the course of life, but only the people involved can do that - I keep trying to force Clare's hand through my terror at what is to come, but that only pushes her to do the opposite and go further in.
Why was I given this burden to deal with? I know this is going to sound funny, but I feel like Frodo Baggins having been given the impossible task to deal with, and he did get there, despite being a small character with a big heart, but there were losses on the way, and I can't bear that thought.

There is still time to change, not much, but there is time - I will pray all I can for the truth to come out in time.